I'm like a pencil;
sometimes sharp,
most days
well-rounded,
other times
dull or
occasionally
broken.
Still I write.
j.g. lewis
is a writer/photographer in Toronto.
Category: Uncategorised
It is a daily reminder. It’s a button; a trigger, so to speak; this one thing that continues to tell me of how I keep putting things off.
I bought a new winter coat last winter, near the end of winter. It is a warm coat, a three-season coat, weatherproof and, perhaps, more functional than fashionable.
I’ve got other winter coats, but this one is the “reliable” go-anywhere sort of coat, pretty much. It’s not quite an overcoat, and it is certainly not as fancy or as formal as the cashmere overcoat I wear less and less, but then I now dress less formally, or go to fewer formal occasions.
This coat has deep pockets and holds well my winter gloves, when I’m not wearing them, and any of the stuff I pick up on my daily travels and don’t take the time to stuff into my packsack.
One of those side pockets has a loose button. It may have been loose when I purchased it (it was, after all, on sale), but I seemed to ignore it at the time.
And I’ve been ignoring it ever since.
I know the button is loose. In fact, each time I put on the coat I now check the button. I will even check it throughout the day. It’s always there, loose, and hanging by its thread. It’s waiting for me to fix it.
Instead, I pull on the thread, wrap the end around the rest of it, and then remind myself I need to take a needle and sew it up tight. Then, I go about my day.
Now, I don’t want to lose the button, heavens no, because then I’d have to replace it (and wouldn’t that be a bother). Why replace something when you could just repair it (that’s been a theme of mine for a couple of years now; repair instead of replace).
Yet I haven’t gotten around to tending to this button.
It is a constant reminder that I need to take the time.
But I don’t.
I keep waiting
When I hung up the coat up for the summer, I reminded myself it needed repair. As I brought it out from the back of the closet last fall, the first thing I did was check the button. But I didn’t bother to get out the needle and thread.
The year came and went, a new year, hell, a new decade has arrived and still I haven’t fixed this stupid button.
The button, sadly, is like many things; full of intention, but never realized. I have never followed through on this intention. I keep putting it off for another time, a better time, a more convenient time.
Often we feel that there simply isn’t the time, and we tell ourselves we will take care of it. Later. Days go by, months go buy, heck the year flies by; we are now a week into another decade and I still haven’t found the time.
This button has become like a lot of things in my life; they suffer because I don’t take the time.
I think we are all like that. Too often we rush through things, or we put things off. We don’t take the time we need, or deserve.
What strikes me as funny, or ironic, is that I promised myself this year, 2020, would be all about taking the time, more, for myself.
I decided I’ve got too many things that need my attention, too many things hanging by a thread, and I am going to take time to get stuff done. In fact, just yesterday, I completed something that I’ve been struggling with and putting off for years or months. I got it done. Finally.
But I’ve still got this button, hanging there. A further reminder that you can cross off items on your list, and there are still more things that need your attention. There is always something that demands your attention.
You need to take the time.
It’s all about the time: the new decade.
Throughout this month, on this page, I’m including pieces by other writers who have contributing their thoughts on where we are, heading into 2020, at this time.
Please check back to this page, in your own time.
Posted on January 1, 2020 by j.g.lewisLeave a comment
Time: a challenge more than a choice, most
of the time. For most of us, as we progress,
a learned experience from confrontation
to cooperation.
We come to accept the realities we acquire
and, armed with gratitude and knowledge
of what has passed, step forward into days
and years ahead. Decades
Wisdom comes from knowing when to speak
and when to shut up. A learned experience,
avoiding confrontation anytime, in the name
of contentment.
Fill your days — whenever you can, however
you can — on your own terms. A calendar gladly
misleads; or do we simply misunderstand our
glorious perceptions.
© 2020 j.g. lewis
“Do not observe yourself too much. Do not draw
too hasty conclusions from what happens to you.”
-Rainer Maria Rilke
