Aren’t we are all working on something, whether we admit it or not? What’s to question? Can you, will you, make the changes you feel you need right now to support your intentions — or your plans — for the future? Don’t go any further until you can answer honestly. If the answer isn’t what you expected, remember it can be changed. Questions change. Expectations should be changed. Change them to intentions, Go easier on yourself. Be good to yourself. Be honest with yourself.
I am trying. to look for colour in a black and white world where everything seems grey, muted, tired, or threadbare. I’m trying to be optimistic. Even the tulips are trying to shed some light over the cool, wet earth. Even they have taken time to bloom. Even I took my time to notice.
How we act, what we do, the chances we take and routines we fall into, are influenced by a headful of inner dialogue, a roomful of opinions, and experience that is constantly changing the world beyond your space. Right now. Still, the single most important factor to all this excessive interior and exterior stimuli is your reaction. Only your behaviour will alter your pattern. You are responsible for learning or diagnosing, even doubting, what you are doing. Just as you may, or will (or can) switch it up, abandon plans, or simply let things happen as they happen as if it is an act of casual happenstance… and it probably is. You already know what you do today will have some sort of effect on what happens tomorrow, or Wednesday, or six months come Sunday. You’ve learned that, mostly from trial and error, but it still adds up to learned behaviour. How is that serving you now? Can you answer that question honestly, or will you have to wait until Wednesday; or Sunday? You know the answer, you do, even if you won’t admit it to yourself (that may be your pattern) and sometimes the answer is more of a question.
I, for all intents and purposes, don’t know where I am going. I have even less of an idea where I am coming from. To retrace my steps, to search through journals and diaries of the past, would be taking a look in the rear-view mirror. Despite objects in the mirror being closer than they appear, it will not further my intent (as unknown and unforeseen as that may seem to be). I will keep moving forward, a direction that is not so much chosen by me but chosen for me by the power(s) that be (intended or naturally). Gravity holds me in my place and allows enough freedom for movement in any direction, depth, or distance chosen (by or for me). I suppose that is both my intent and my purpose.
