open space
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the meaning of love
It has been almost ten years since my father’s passing. While memories are not as swift as they once were, they are solid.
My dad always seemed to have a purpose and set an example for his three children. He was professional, an accountant, dedicated to a strong work ethic. Community service was important to him, and he served on many boards, at the church, and could always be counted on to volunteer with any of the sports organizations his active children were involved with.
Keith Lewis was a good father, a good friend, and trusted confidant to his partners, associates, and those within his ever-expanding social circle. Admirably, he counted among his friends a group of men he established relationships in his college days. He was a loving husband; that was never a doubt.
He was always there for his children, though I never fully realized how much pride he seemed to take in fatherhood. He was not overly expressive about his feelings (I believe it was a generational thing) but subtly showed love in ways that he was able to.
He was human and, flaws and all, recognized I was human too.
As I grew older, and then became a father myself, I realized more and more that lessons, morals, and virtues that he was trying to teach us through his actions were both valuable and purposeful. I did not respect the lessons then as I do now and, I suppose, never thanked him properly for the wisdom, knowledge, and the meaning of love he instilled in me.
We had our differences (it was a generational thing) and there were periods of silence as I never fully understood, or accepted, those differences. I was not rebellious . . . just silent.
Despite what I wanted to believe at the time, the man put his family first. He was a provider and I never wanted for anything. He was happy in his role. Only now do I realize his happiness in the role of father and provider.
His death, almost a decade ago, was unexpected (or not anticipated), and came at a time when I was searching for answers I can only now find in memory.
I am thinking of my dad today and how blessed I was to have a father like him. It was not always easy for me to express my love, but I know it was there.
I am still feeling that love.
Happy Father’s Day.
06/16/2024 j.g.l.
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cloud songs
This day will pass, though
scattered thoughts will remain, as
we question or consider
our joys and pain.
We never know, but always care,
about reasons and results that
do not seem fair.
It is our way; it is this life;
is this how we survive on the edge
of a knife?
Sharper than we give ourselves
credit for as we seldom take tally
or measure the score in
this game of life that we all play,
not just now but any day.
06/13/2024 j.g.l.
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another chance
Hopeis a lottery ticket.
Chances slim, odds even
more unlikely, yet we pay.
We play,
we hope, like last week or
the week before.
Tomorrow, again,
is yet another chance;
a ticket purchased
speculative happenstance.
Always aiming for a win,
we gamble with our time
like it is a sin.
Dollars spent
defy common sense, as
we try again, and have
many years hence.
You cannot
predict when your
numbers are up,
guesswork or repetition
not nearly enough.
Still, we think,
in time, luck will step in,
but it is only the hope
that lives within.
06/11/2024 j.g.l.
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express yourself
How are you at expressing yourself?
Do you always tell the truth?
06/09/2024 j.g.l.
