Who can you blame?
Are the feelings unjust when a decision is a matter of knowing you must find fault or favour with the ill winds of change?
It is never enough to simply rearrange plans or predicaments. It is like making a prediction of all my flaws with my faith as fractured or fragile as it is, or has been.
Far easier to see what I haven’t been doing.
03/24/2023 j.g.l.
We tire of unpredictable weather, the damp morning chill, wet socks and lost mittens. Winter keeps reminding it is not through with us.
We have suffered long enough.
The streets are tired and dirty and the time change only makes things darker in the morning.
We need a brighter view.
We need, now, the renewal that comes with spring.
03/20/2023 j.g.l.
Progress comes less from planning than participation.
Dreams and wishes require action and attention.
Start moving.
03/19/2023 j.g.l.
I'm like a pencil;
sometimes sharp,
most days
well-rounded,
other times
dull or
occasionally
broken.
Still I write.
j.g. lewis
is a writer/photographer in Toronto.
I bought a guitar last week. By no means a spontaneous purchase, I’d been thinking about it for a couple of decades, even more seriously over the past year, or two.
I know myself too well to even think I could rush into a decision like this. A guitar requires commitment, and patience, and attention. You see, I am a Gemini and often plans, goals, or interests can waiver slightly or rapidly move from one thing to another. A passion one day can be a pain in the ass the next week.
A guitar is something to be appreciated.
It’s not that I don’t have some experience with a guitar. I took lessons a few times at different stages of my life. I was keenly interested in the instrument, up until I discovered the drums. After that, my kit was all that mattered.
Drums were the perfect instrument for teenage aggression but you learn, after a while, that they are limited. They are crucial for keeping the beat but require other instruments to be truly effective. Drums, on their own, are nothing but noisy. You can’t take your drums to a campfire sing-along or sweetly serenade your girlfriend. In fact, you can’t just pick them up and take them anywhere. Anytime.
I sold my drums decades ago. I suppose I sold my drums when I grew up. Since then, I’ve always wanted a guitar. I’ve always wanted to create beautiful noise.
I. Have. Always. Loved. Music.
With more time on my hands these days, like everybody else, it suddenly became important for me to pick up the guitar (again). I set a budget and began my search, clicking through the used ads and buy and sell groups. Music stores, or pawnshops, were not an option in these pandemic days.
I bought a German instrument, from the same decade as me. It’s got more than a few scuffs, scratches and scrapes, and needs a couple of adjustments and a new set of strings. But it is, or was, a quality instrument.
In my hands it felt perfect, for me.
I even remembered how to tune it, and most of the open string chords came back to me. Now, my fingers have not stretched like that in years, and the muscle movement (or memory) will take some time. But I, like everybody else, seem to have a little more time on my hands.
This guitar offers a promise. It is an inspiration. It might even be a distraction, but it’s been a long time since I’ve made some music of my own.
