Days, weeks, then months
and years drift by.
Not always noticeable, or even
memorable, the time behind us
simply accumulates. All in all,
the sum of its parts leads to
a life well-lived, if you take
a moment to notice.
09/10/2024 j.g.l.
Mondays are just young Fridays
It’s not about height
or breadth, or depth.
It is all about perspective.
What limits you?
How far can you see?
To what end do you
appreciate what is in front of you?
Looking back is hindsight
and you have already been there.
Change your point of view.
Look up.
Don’t overlook opportunities.
What are your limits?
09/09/2024 j.g.l.
within
Secrets are rarely as heavy as
the weight we assign to them.
The gravity of circumspect
plays out, time and again. It is
what we carry as we decide
what crosses, or is held within,
our moral divide.
Sit with it for a while, moved
only when memory comes into
play; last night, or the other, or
any other day.
09/05/2024 j.g.l.
I'm like a pencil;
sometimes sharp,
most days
well-rounded,
other times
dull or
occasionally
broken.
Still I write.
j.g. lewis
is a writer/photographer in Toronto.
Knowing The Unknown
Posted on May 26, 2021 by j.g.lewis
Leave a comment
When does patience turn to procrastination?
For weeks now (almost) I have been plotting a painting onto a canvas. Thoughtfully, decisively, carefully, consciously, marking each line. Deliberately.
It is a large canvas. It had to be; this is a big project.
I have not painted in oils for decades. I’ve thought about it (a lot), and this pandemic seemed to provide opportunity, or an outlet, to make it happen.
I was slow getting started, but 12 days ago I finally began taking the design from my head and mapping it out.
I was incrementally inspired.
I am now at the point — actually, I am hesitating — where I need to mix my medium, take up my brush and begin to apply colour to the canvas.
But really, for days now, I stare at the lines on the white surface and I see what it could be, but only in my mind.
Is this now a mental block?
Like the lines on the surface, I am at the intersection of design, desire, and fear.
That’s it: fear.
It is not fear of starting (because, technically, I have begun) but there is the fear of this not looking as I imagined it would look.
Exactly.
Can I be that exacting? Will this work live up to my expectations or will it be even better than I imagined?
There is that doubt.
Right now, I can only know the unknown. That invokes this fear.
This is how I struggle, linearly, creatively, even spiritually, when I take on any artistic project.
Hesitation.
I keep talking myself out of the next step. Is it lack of confidence; or is it lack of control?
I have come to know myself. I know, knowing myself, that the moment I mix the paint, the moment I apply some life to the canvas, what has only been a project will become an obsession. It is the way I am with all things creative.
I know, or I feel, the initial underpainting will pull me in.
If I — and I will — take the next step, will it take me further from, or closer to the realization that I am an artist?
If it takes time, that time is now. Today.
© 2021 j.g. lewis
